A Dream
by TamakiCat
Summary: What if a dream showed Izaya what he truly desired? What if he realized things?...
1. A Dream

_**Author's Notes:**_ Hello! :D Here you go! I thought this cute idea up. Okay, sorry about the beginning, it looks like a horror movie or something xD But it's meant to be cute so just keep on reading :P You'll see ;) And go on my other account : QueenOfThePlace . I've got other Durarara! fanfics and more to come :D But I just felt like posting one on this account. Thanks much :)! Hope you'll like it!

_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own anything else from it but the idea for the fanfiction, the fanfiction, my writing style :D and my representation of those characters and their relationship.

_**A Dream**_

Izaya was lying in his bed, sheets up to his chin. The room wasn't quite so dark...it was just as if his some sunrays or streetlamps' rays were getting through his drapes. Just some... He was afraid. So afraid he couldn't even explain it. He didn't want to get out of the bed or lower the sheets; it would just remove his protection or so it seemed. So, instead, he waited. He could hear the clockwall's hands' ticking and some...strange yet powerful footsteps coming from the pitchblack corridor. Izaya gulped then sank even more into his matress and pulled the sheets higher on his nose now. He knew why he was scared now. That monster was there to get him, in the so-called dark of his bedroom and he couldn't even escape...he was paralyzed.

'Iiiiizaaaaayaaaaaaaaaaaaa-kuuunnnnnn!'

He could now see a pair of legs in front of his bed. He didn't want to look higher, oh no... But he didn't even need to do it as the tall man was on him now. Izaya femininely gasped and stared at the face. All he noticed at first was the blond hair, and then the glasses...and the beautiful face.

'Shi-Shizu-chan?' he asked softly, suddenly lowering his sheets defense.

'Shhhh shhh shh, don't say anything...my dear.' the other said, putting a finger on Izaya's lips before kissing his neck.

'D-Dear? Ahh...wh-why...?'

Shizuo just looked at him in utter confusion before smiling kindly as to comfort the other one.

'Why, isn't this what you want? What you've always wanted, Izaya?...'

'Erm...ahh...err...I...' was all Izaya could babble before Shizuo's lips crashed on his.

They kissed tenderly for a moment, then Izaya, in the passion, wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck. This was way too delicious... Then suddenly he felt a hand on trailing down his sides. He couldn't help, but moan a little at the feeling. And for sure, Shizuo smirked through the kiss before breaking away from it.

'So... here you have it. All night...forever...we could be touching...' the blonde said, taking off Izaya's pajama top.

He smiled then kissed him again, though deeply and passionately this time. Izaya was just way too surprised and yet, content with this scene that he just couldn't react in any other way then following Shizuo's lead...

'And, of course, loving each other...' the blonde whispered to the dark haired one's ear.

A ray of light burst through the bedroom and Izaya's eyes flung open. He sat straight up in his bed and stayed there, panting with eyes wide open in question, for a good while... A dream. It had been a dream. He had known for a while he kind of liked Shizuo more than he ever should... Unfortunately or maybe fortunately for his health, he knew that blond guy would never return his feelings. Only in a dream... So, he sighed, threw his sheets away and walked to the bathroom in order to get ready for another day. Which he'd spend teasing Shizuo, of course... Just so he could hide his true motives and yet be near him. With him...

'Yes, I want it, Shizu-chan...More than you could ever think of.' he whispered.

But sadly, a dream was all it could ever be...


	2. A Monster's Dream

_**Author's Notes:**_ HEYA :D So I worked really hard on this chapter! It's one of my longest ever xD But I just had this idea and thought it suited Shizuo and his obsession! :P It's from Shizuo's POV. I shall jump from one another, from time to time :D It's so fun! Hope you like it as much, if not more :D

_**Disclaimer:**_ Read my previous disclaimer :) Thanks! And thanks to durarara96xx who asked kindly of me to write a dream from Shizuo's POV. ;) Thanks! The idea was great :D I had much fun writing it! Hahahahhaha!

Enjoy! :D

As I promised, you all got this chapter this week :D

And review, dearies, please :)!

_**A Dream**_

_**Chapter 2. A Monster's Dream**_

'Don't forget! Tomorrow at 7, you gotta be ready! Meeting some new client...And I want you by my side. All right, Shizuo!'

'Yeah, yeah...'

Shizuo just put his hands in his black pants' pockets and walked away, leaving Tom alone in the middle of the sidewalk. He knew he had to be read at 7, why remind him? How he disliked that job sometimes...and people. Though he didn't dislike them as much as Izaya...

'Izaya...that bastard.'

He shook his head and pulled his apartment's lobby door. He didn't want to think about that guy... Each time he did, his heart ached *probably due to the memories of all the shit Izaya made him live...or so he thought* and he just lost his mind. He could lash out at anybody and _anything_ for that matter... And he didn't want that. In fact, he never wanted it...

He sighed then got out of the elevator and walked to his door. He got his key out and unlocked it.

'Humpf...time to relax...Am I hungry? Nope... Gonna take a nap...no..it's sleep time...yes...damn Tom, why do you make me work so early?...'

He took off his clothes *after having closed and locked the door, of course!* and jumped onto his bed, where right after having turned off his little *lampe de chevet* he fell asleep...thinking and raging about Izaya. Because sadly, that flea almost never left his mind... May it be from sick obsession to pure hatred and frustration... Or maybe even something else, unknown from himself at the moment...

'Shiiiizuuuu-chhaaannnnnnn~?'

Shizuo's ears trembled as he heard that way... WAY too familiar and despised voice coming from his apartment's main corridor. His hands tightened on a plate he was washing before grumbling and letting it drop with a loud sound in the bottom of the sink. Yeah, well, single men had to do the dishes... sometimes. He thumped his way to where the voice had come from and clenched his fists as he saw his most hated figure in the whole world.

'Izaya!'

'Oh, Shizu-chan! Don't tell me you're not happy to see me, hun!' Izaya cooed as he swirled near Shizuo.

One of his thin fingers trailed down the blonde's firm jaw before he giggled and swirled away in the living room.

'Shiiizuuu-chan! I know you're tired of being aloooneee...don't deny it! I know everything!'

Izaya agitated a finger in front of his face as to show Shizuo not to argue. The tall one clenched his fists, growled and approached Izaya at a pretty fast pace.

'What the HECK are YOU doing in MY apartment?' he shouted in the other one's face.

Izaya smirked *which made Shizuo clench his fists tighter*, then waved another finger in Shizuo's face, his other hand on his hip.

'There, there, there, Shizuo... I think you know the answer to that one!' Izaya answered, smirking and titling his head to the side.

'You're annoying! GET OUT!'

'Tsss tsss tss...!' started Izaya, frisking about to the sofa. 'Now, now... I'm here simply because you wanted someone! I mean... You're single, always alone, not many friends.. Here I am! To give you some company... Ain't I nice?'

Shizuo raised an eyebrow at the now sitting man, pondering about what he just had said...

'Well, if I really wanted company, you surely wouldn't be the one I'd have called up... And by the way, how did you KNOW I needed someone? I know you've got food information but THAT is just too much! It's a lame joke...'

Izaya threw his head behind and laughed. Just laughed for an unknown amount of time until he stared at Shizuo straight in the eyes. He then smiled and pushed himself out of the sofa and went in face of the other man.

'No, no, no...! You've got it all wrong! First of all, I got the info from there...' he said, putting a warm hand on Shizuo's heart *or at least the location!*. And from there too..'

He then pointed at Shizuo's head.

'Because otherwise, I wouldn't be here right now! That is where dreams are created, if we may believe studies about it... Haha! Dirty you, you created me in this place... Tsss... I guess I'm flattered.' he said, playing with his jacket's pockets and blushing a little. 'But seriously, you're flawed... Giving me the info of how bad you obsess over me and everything else...just like that... Haha! Beware, I could use it against you... Like by helping you produce dreams such as this one...'

And he kept on laughing while Shizuo gritted his teeth and asked through them something that sounded like this : 'Huh? What do you mean?'

'Ahhh...always this slow, eh, Shizuo? I must admit I like when you've got those moments of cleverness... Oh wait, no, you'd LOVE me to like them, right? Haha! Your head is so filled with good info!' Izaya exclaimed, grinning mischievously.

Shizuo was so lost. He didn't even know what THAT guy was doing here *and it annoyed him to no end!* nor what he was saying...!

'Come on, Shizu-chan... You're always obsessing over me. Thinking about me day and _night._ Hoping to catch me... to kill me... but is it really what you want, Shizu-chan?' cooed Izaya, putting a soft hand on Shizuo's jaw. ' I don't think so... You want more than that, Shizu-chan, right?'

All of a sudden, the room became blurry and swirl and Shizuo had trouble to keep himself focused on the dark-haired one. Everything was spinning...

'You want me, Shizu-chan!'

Shizuo's eyes flung opened while cold sweat trickled down his forehead... He was lying down on his chest, sheets scrambled around him and some on the floor. Let's say he had had a... agitated night? Yes, he had... He stared at his clock and realized the alarm had started to wake him up. He groaned and turned it off.

'Argh! So this really was a dream, huh?' he said to no one in particular, standing up. 'How much do you know, little bastard? Even in my dreams, goddamit! How can you be so annoying?'

He grabbed his bartender clothers and entered the bathroom, getting ready to take a shower. He had to make it quick if he didn't want to be late for the 7 A.M job. As his thoughts went on, it was all about Izaya and this strange dream where the informant seemed to know, yet again, everything...

'And what was it about I want you? I'll never want you, disgusting flea!' he exclaimed, washing his hair in the shower. 'You suck...'

_Really?_

Shizuo's hands tightened on his hair and his eyes opened wide as he heard this hated and annoying voice in his head which was soon followed by a laugh. He grumbled and then, after a while, kept on washing himself, thinking he, perhaps, should start consulting someone... This flea was really driving him insane.


	3. A Normal Day Really?

_**Author's Notes:**_ Heya, girls :D! Hope you'll like this one! I'm really loving writing this fanfic :) It takes a whole lot of time, but I enjoy it :D My updates will be a little more distanced from now on, I'm starting University soon, so... BUT I'll try to post every two weeks :)

_**Disclaimer:**_ Like my previous ones :D THANKS!

Enjoy :D

And comment please :)

I love to read reviews and...

It helps to get a chapter more quickly *wink wink* ;)

_**A Dream**_

_**Chapter 3. A Normal Day... Really!**_

Izaya sighed and closed his fists. He had been searching for Shizu-chan in Ikebukuro's streets for about an hour now... And he just hoped he'd somehow soon stumble upon him, because he was getting personnaly annoyed. Usually, it didn't take him this much time to find him...

'Shit...! He's not here either...'he thought, annoyed, as he turned another corner. 'Haha... Shizu-chan, you always manage to surprise me, don't you...? Just another thing I like about you...'

And with a smirk, he entered Ikebukuro's street on which the Russian Sushi was situated. He gasped and opened his eyes wide as he saw a familiar back that announced his day to be normal. Well, as normal as it could be if, like Izaya, a normal day is made of teasing Ikebukuro's wildest beast to no end and being run after by him, getting paid to give information to those who want it and risking your bottom most of the time while doing so and observing as humans get into many different events and emotions, mostly caused by you because you just love to watch the world burn... Oh, and sometimes of helping young and vulnerable teenagers realizing their lives suck and watching them jump off a building too... But this was more of a hobby when he had nothing better to do. Not so much making it into his description of a 'normal day'. So, if this is what you think of it too, well, welcome into Orihara Izaya's body and mind!

He snorted then showed his teeth to no one in particular, jubilating about the fun he was about to have... If only he dared call out to the monster. If only...he'd do something else then tighten his grip on his pocket knife. Instead of remembering his dream...

'DON'T let yourself be overwhelmed by it! It was JUST a dream. N-Nothing more.. Got it? GOT IT! I actually got better things to do right now... And he sure has a strong-looking back...hmmm, yeah~...'

He shook his head vigorously, praying to himself he hadn't thought that last one. But alas, he had...

'Come on! Get over it! Stop thinking of things like this, you know he'll never return your thoughts and feelings! So, concentrate! Do it, that's it, boy! Raise this knife up, that's it... Then, call out the name you just love to give him. Do! IT! I know you can do it...'

He swallowed, then put on his most smug expression, then said real loud: 'Shiizuuu-chaaannn~!'

And the reaction was instantaneous. The tall blonde turned round, anger already laid on his face... as if ready to kill.

'Fine! It worked...now, make him run after you! Hehe, what a nice thought... If only it'd be in 'that' sense... Make him get even more obsessed with you today, make him run and shout after you! Tease him! It's the best you both can do.. DO IT!'he thought, smirking. 'Because that's actually the _only_ thing you can do with him...'

'IIIIZAAAAYAAAAA-KUUUNNNN.'

'I see you still remember my name! It's a good thing!' he replied, chuckling. 'So, how's my Shizu-chan today ?'

Izaya's Machiavellan smile froze as he noticed his favorite monster wasn't as precipitated as usual. Shizuo had gotten ready to dash towards him, but then, he winced, stopped in his run-up and grumbled as if some ... thing or thought or whatever had glued his legs. As if he were thinking things through...Izaya shifted uncomfortably and asked in an almost shaky and obviously concerned voice:

'What's up, Shiiizuuuu-chhaaann~? Not in the mood today?'

He chuckled, but then quickly turned on his heels and ran to whence he had come from when the loved monster pulled out a stop sign from the pavement by only mere arms' strength and started running after him.

'Iiiiiizaaaayaaaa! I'm gonna kill you, flea!'

'Haha! Not today, Shizu-chan! You won't even catch me! HAHAHA!'

Izaya chuckled meanly as they ran through the city, knocking some cars, shops and street poles on the way; he was having so much fun! He turned some other corner, entering a small alley and by the footsteps and growling he could here, he was sure Shizuo was following up pretty closely! This was a totally normal day for him... And it'd probably, he thought, end up like always: him teasing and annoying Shizuo a little bit more as he destroyed everything around them without managing to touch Izaya before the dark-haired one fled until tomorrow.

'Haha! It's so funny! ... But sadly, I bet it's gonna end with both of us walking back home, separated, and me depressing over the fact that I KNOW I still didn't get him and probably never will...and getting ready for another night filled with stupid dreams, but oh so lovely, whispering to me the pitiful truth of my desires..' he thought.

Izaya chuckled as to not seem in deep thoughts, but this exact moment of self-pitying cost him much as his laugh suddenly disappeared when he got thrown off his feet, flew in the air for a few seconds before falling face flat onto the cold ground. Shocked and lost, he difficulty lifted himself up and blinked many times, trying to situate where he was.

'Woh..Wh-What happened?' He thought, his mind cloudy. 'Did he...Did he hit me...?'

His eyes went wide in horror as he saw the hand on his hand. He quickly wiped off the rest from his mouth, just to make sure...and yes, there was blood.

'Shit!' he panicked within. 'The hit and the fall hurt me pretty badly... There MUST be some exit nearby...!'

He could hear some growling and weird panting behind him, as if his favorite monster was having another hard time thinking things through, but he didn't care about it. No. Instead, he tried to stand up, stumbling a few times due to the dizziness and got to the wall at the end of they alley.

'... A WALL? NO WAY! No escape? NO! That can't be! I know this city like the back of my hand! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!... Oh right, some construction contract... I should have remembered... But he'll kill me! Oh no! Shizu-chan will...Oh, no! I can surely dissuade him... Yes, of course! Hehe... Otherwise, I wouldn't be myself, now, would I! Let's go, Iz!' he thought, afraid as he had never been before, touching the cold brick wall in front of him, not believing there was one...

'Haha! A simple stupid thought about love and here I am, at his mercy... but not for long, no..I'll try to..find a way..' he thought, depressing a little bit as he leaned his back against the wall and stared right at Shizuo.

The tall blonde was now holding a stop sign real high in the air, ready to strike, Izaya guessed... before he chuckled like a madman. He saw Shizuo flinched, and realized he actually might have a chance... As insane as it may sound.

'I'ma kill you, Izaya! Last words before I hit? Hahaha! FINALLY!' growled Shizuo, after having recovered from hearing such a scary laugh.

Izaya just kept on staring and chuckled, as if totally lost, before adding: 'Oh no, you won't... You really will kill me?'

'Yes.'

'Really?' Izaya asked with a pitiful expression on his face that seemed to dare the other one to do it...yet pleading him not to in an unusual way.

Shizuo let out a sound of surprise, then grumbled and stared at the ground for a few minutes, tightening his grip on the stop sign. Izaya didn't know it was what he said or his expression, but either one of them saved his life for now. Shizuo threw the sign at the other end of the street, then began walking away.

'Go home, Iz.' he told him, stopping for a short while before disappearing from his sight.

'Sh-Shizuo...Always so full of surprises...Hehe.. What went on in your mind?... Really? You let me live... Only a few drops of blood... Really?' he murmured, half-amused, half-confused, knowing the blonde couldn't hear him.

Izaya stayed there, leaned against the wall, blood dripping from his mouth, too shocked to move... This day sure hadn't been what Izaya'd call a normal one.


	4. STOP THIS!

_**Author's Notes:**_ Heya guys/girls :D So here's the fourth chapter. Hope you'll like it I had much fun writing it :D It's from Shiz's POV :D And I begin University tomorrow *YIPPEE* and thought of posting this chapter as a gift for all of you! Please, now expect chapters to take longer before I post them... :) And THANKS MUCH to all of you who review, read, alert, fave and still follow this story and me! I love you all! Thanks much! *bows down*

_**Disclaimer:**_ Previous ones, pleasey :D

Hope you like it! :D

And comment! :)

_**A Dream**_

_**Chapter 4. STOP THIS!**_

Shizuo's day was going pretty... well and calmly today, as surprising as it may sound. He had taken his time in the shower, slowed down his pace as he got dressed and took a shortcut to get to his job at 7 A.M in the morning... All of it JUST for one purpose: avoid Izaya! He knew on average the dark-haired one's schedule of 'search', if one could say... So, he decided it'd be best for him to change the plans and enrage, probably, the other one without being THIS easy to find. And actually, he was enjoying his day like never before. It was so... peaceful. Just like he wanted it. He just scared clients a bit, then talked with Tom, ate, usual stuff, but OH so calmly. It couldn't be better!

'Well, yes, it could...' he thought.

Ok, sorry. So, it could be better if he wasn't afraid of meeting Izaya today. He was certain it was impossible, like every other day, but he was trying to enjoy it the best he could until _he_ arrived. Though, it didn't take away his feeling of aprehension and fear as he knew the dream he had might not completely help with the meeting... He didn't know how he'd react, but he was sure he'd dislike it!

'Stupid dream! It was just a dream! As if I'd want _that_ disgusting guy! Yes, I'm alone. SO? Stupid dream...' he raged on within, crushing his cigarette botch under his neat classic black shoe on the sidewalk.

And then, he heard it... This venomous voice he wished he'd have done without for the day!

'Shiizuuu-chaaannn~!'

His muscles and jaw instantaneously tensed and wearing a savage and angry expression on his face, he roughly turned round. Even though he didn't want to see that devilish face, hatred just took over his whole body and mind.

'IIIIZAAAAYAAAAA-KUUUNNNN', he roared, trembling with hatred and rage.

Shizuo started to dash towards his archenemesis, but winced and suddenly stopped right in his track. Usually, he'd have already grabbed the nearest heaviest object, planning on throwing it or at least striking Izaya with it... But no. Instead, he grumbled as images of last night's dream swirled in his mind, almost as if they were teasing him...

'No. I'm not in the mood for it today, Izaya. But I'll do it anyway because I don't want you that way... that freakingly twisted way you mentioned in my dream... No... I want you DEAD!' he answered Izaya's question in his mind.

He pulled out a stop sign and with a growl, he dashed at Izaya.

'Iiiiiizaaaayaaaa! I'm gonna kill you, flea!'

'Haha! Not today, Shizu-chan! You won't even catch me! HAHAHA!'

How he hated that flea! He disgusted him so... As they chased around the town, their normal routine, Shizuo knocked a few cars out of the way *after Izaya had jumped on them* as well as some undesired objects at the moment *trashcans, streetlamps, those things, you know...*.

'WHY... CAN'T HE... JUST.. LEAVE ME.. ALOOOONNEEE!' he thought, rageful.

In his boost of despise towards the other man and in a swift look, noticing Izaya was weirdly slowing down a tad bit for no apparent reason, he swung the stop sign and hit his feet, sending him flying off in the air and falling face flat onto the ground. Shizuo stayed there, standing still, panting and growling.

'Dammit! Just hit him... He's already down! For once! You CAN get him, NOW! HIT HIM NOOOOW!... Why can't I? It was just a fucking stupid dream... He'll never want me...I don't even need him! PFF! I don't want him...it's just...some..twisted...dream...but he said he took it from my he—NO! Just lies! LIES! He was almost kind in it... Now, he looks like a lost animal... Haha... I could almost pity him... NO! NO! HE'LL NEVER BE KIND AND I'LL NEVER PITY HIM!HIT HIM! FUCK! HIT HIIIIMM! KILL HIM! ONCE AND FOR ALL!

' he thought observing as Izaya desperately tries to find an exit that never existed in this alley.

Shizuo lifted his stop sign pretty high in the air, ready to strike in the following seconds, but then flinched when he heard the mad chuckle coming from the flea's mouth. So much like the one in his dream... when he had told him he had created him in it and he wanted _that_ guy to like him, if not more... He shook his head, enraged and a bit at loss with all of this, getting out of these weird and totally unwanted thoughts.

'I'ma kill you, Izaya! Last words before I hit? Hahaha! FINALLY!' growled Shizuo, after having recovered from hearing such a scary laugh.

Izaya just kept on chuckled like a madman, as if totally lost, before adding: 'Oh no, you won't... You really will kill me?'

'Yes.' answered Shizuo in a neutral, but determined.

'Really?' Izaya asked with a pitiful expression on his face that seemed to dare him to strike with the stop sign...yet, he seemed to be pleading him not to in an unusual way.

Shizuo let out a sound of surprise, then grumbled and stared at the ground for a few minutes, tightening his grip on the stop sign.

'That word... Again! He keeps on saying _that_ freaking word! Why? WHY? Even in that dream... He repeated it over and OVER again along that weird chuckle of his... STOP THIS IZAYA! STOP THIS! STOP HAUNTING ME, FUCKING FLEA! That word... that word... I can't take it anymore!' he thought in despair.

_Really..._

_Really._

_Really?_

_Really?_

_Really?_

_REALLY!_

He sighed and threw the sign at the other end of the street, then began walking away.

'Go home, Iz.' he told him, stopping for a short while before turning the corner of the alley.

Hands in his pockets, he just stared at the ground as he made his way back to his apartment. He still had the image of Izaya's almost scared and pleading face in mind... He snorted and shook his head in astonishment and disbelief towards himself.

_Really?_

'No... Not really.' he thought. 'I couldn't really kill you, bastard of a flea! I'm not a killer.'

He sighed as he took the flight of stairs instead of the elevator. He opened his apartment's door and with nothing better to do at the moment to drift his thoughts away from Izaya and his failure at killing him, he sat in front of the computer and turned it on.

'I can't believe I let you live... For so many years, you've ruined my life and I've wanted to kill you... And yet, I let you go... What is wrong with me? The fucking word you keep on repeating in my dream and in real life... WHAT IS WRONG WITH IT ALL? Will you one day let me live in peace, fucking flea? I hate you! I so hate you!'

He grumbled and cursed at himself for letting Izaya go...and went on the Dollars' site.

[Quiet Hero logged in.]

'Humpf...Wonder if anything's better than this on that chat today...'

[Quiet Hero: Hi]

'... Was it your face or your words that made me abandon, Iz?... What was it? I hate both of it... What is this? I hate myself...So much. So much, Iz... Hate my strength. Hate you and it who've ruined my whole life... What happened?' he thought, depressed as he gazed at the screen, wondering why he let the second person he hates the most after himself live...

[Kanra-chan logged in.]

'Huh? Someone this quickly? Really?'

_Yes, really, Shizu-chan._

'Oh, shut up! Got enough of you today, stupid my freaking HEAD!'

_But you'll miss me. You want me. You need me, Shizu-chan. You're alone...Admit it._

'Oh, seriously! What's up with you? WHAT ARE YOU? LEAVE MY FUCKING HEAD! Goddamit!'

_Humpf! As you wish... But you'll miss me. But not for long, because I'm there, anyways. Hahahahahahaha!_

'...'

Shizuo just raised an eyebrow and really wondered what the heck was this inner voice NOT belonging to him. He also decided to call it *much against his will* Izaya-thought.

[Kanra-chan: Heyyyyy~]

[Quiet Hero: Hey.]

'Really...What's wrong with me? I know my strength... but..sincerely..today..Izaya...no, no, something's wrong..something was very...very wrong... He was cute. NO! YES! Fuck...'

And he punched his desk, a few cracks appearing on it as he cursed at what he had just said.

'I hate myself.'


	5. Chapter 5 Sorrow

_**Author's Notes:**_ Hey! I'm SO sorry it took this long to update! Nevertheless, thanks for following and liking this story. :) See you next chapter, I hope! And tell me what you think of it.

_**Disclaimer:**_ As previously, of course.

Enjoy!

And please, comment.

Thanks :D

_**A Dream**_

_**Chapter 5. Sorrow**_

After a few minutes of staring into the void in silence, blood dripping down his mouth, Izaya got up, leaning on the cold brick wall behind him with his two hands. He sighed, then walked a few steps before wiping off the blood from his mouth and chin. He looked at it in pure disgust and awe. Who'd have thought the great and Godly Izaya would bleed one day? And it even was because of Shizu-chan... He chuckled at the thought, then dragged himself to his office, limping, and his arms dangling. His body was sore and wounded due to the hard fall and Shizu-chan's stop sign strike.

'Stupid thoughts of love... Hehe...That I'll never get... Hmm..I'm so unlucky. I won't think about such things again. No! Never! They drove me to my humiliation...Idiot Shizu-chan... Why did you let me live?'

Not only his whole body was hurt, but his soul was even more... He didn't cry; not one tear ran down his face. He didn't even sob as he entered his office... No. Instead, he just felt the heavy and almost unbearable weight of sorrow on his shoulders. It was as if an anvil was crushing him with all its strength, and this, non-stop... So, he just dragged himself along to the bathroom, feeling this unpleasant rock of pain and sadness in his guts. He stared at himself in the mirror and showed he despised what he saw with a grimace of disgust; his lips and chin were bloodied, he looked tired and shocked, and simply...as if he'd come from another planet or something. He leaned on the white sink, sighing, before grabbing the hand towel and wet it under the faucets' water. Izaya roughly used it wipe away the blood on his face... And still, no tears, no nothing... He threw the bloodied hand towel in the sink, then walked out of the bathroom.

It wasn't that he didn't feel like crying; oh no! Because believe it or not...his emotions were for sure heading that way. No... It simply was that he couldn't. He just couldn't! All he was able to do was roam about helplessly in his apartment, staring into the void for it was as if his eyes were sore of seeing and his heart of feeling. Humiliation, pain, sadness, confusion, love and hatred were buzzing in his mind.

But then, as a certain image of how Shizuo had turned his back on him and let him go surfaced... His eyes widened and he chuckled for a good moment. Maybe, just maybe, Shizuo was experiencing some... _troubles_... too. But then he remembered just how much of a brute the blonde was, and realized he probably didn't feel anything much towards him than hatred, and despise. What had happened earlier was simply a moment of _weakness_ from the man, surely telling himself that killing someone, no matter who that person was, was bad... So, Izaya sighed, and gulped before dragging himself along to the computer.

Izaya wasn't actually in the mood to talk, nor to be in front of a pc screen, but he figured he had nothing better to do; Well, if focusing on the several unpleasant feelings tormenting him within was better to do, he'd be doing it by now... He sat in his black chair, shifting so he'd be comfortable, then turned the computer on. He couldn't help but still feel squashed from the heaviness of his sorrow, and from the love that'll never be returned...He intertwined his fingers, but then the Windows' typical melody was heard, and he leant over his keyboard, typing in the Dollars' Website in the address bar.

A smirk carved its way on his face as he entered the chatroom, eyes a little bit lit up with ephemeral glee that was sure to be wiped out as soon as the feelings'd alert the brain _again_ with a pain in the chest.

[Kanra-chan logged in.]

Perhaps a little chitchat with someone foreign to what was happening in his personal life could help taking his mind off those disturbing matters...His worst one : Shizuo, of course. Who else but that lovely beast? Well, he wasn't all so lovely, but to Izaya, he was special...more special than anyone. Though, the monster hadn't yet been informed of it.

Izaya frowned slightly; there was only one person in the chatroom, this Quiet Hero something. It was odd. Usually, there were more people...Oh well, nothing could be worse nor more confusing than today, he thought before typing in a greeting.

[Kanra-chan : Heyyyyy~ ]

The black-haired lad loved introducing himself on the Internet as a woman; it was funny he reckoned. It was even easier to extract information from people in order to sell them to others when impersonating a charming, and seemingly innocent girl. Plus, it brought him protection, and efficacy at concealing his true identity.

[Quiet Hero: Hey.]

"Oh wow! A bit more and he's talkative..." he thought mockingly.

Despite all of his negative feelings, he forced himself to type a joyous reply. He mustn't blow his cover. Plus, this conversation may relax him...

[Kanra-chan : Oooohh! Cat's got your tongue? Haha!]

A while passed before an answer appeared. Izaya had almost given up all hope, which startled him a bit when he heard the clear "ding!" from his computer. He gasped, then read.

[Quiet Hero : No.]

Izaya frowned. This guy sure wasn't talkative... Then, why was he online?

"Pffff, probably one of those dimwitted people; there are so many scattered around the world!" he thought, chuckling, trying to barricade his bad feelings somewhere in his heart until he'll have time to only focus on them, which meant when he was going to go to bed... And trust him, he wasn't eager to.

[Quiet Hero : It's because...I...I had quite a peculiar day.]

[Kanra-chan : Huh?]

"Kanra-chan" now had his eyes wide opened, staring at the screen at a few centimeters from it only.

[Kanra-chan : Tell me about it. I'm here to listen, and giggle. How was it? What happened? I had a weird day too...and I still do.]

Rule number 1 : Make the other person feel safe with you. Rule number 2 : Act cute and caring (though, in this case, he was somewhat really interesting. Because admit it, wasn't it strange that he had an odd day, and there was only one other person in the chatroom, and he had had a weird day too? Izaya thought so.). Rule number 3 : Sympathize with the other person by stating a few of your things too, but not too many as to give you away. Mostly not on the Internet. What a mistake! And he was certain (don't ask him how; it was as if he felt it...as if he already was intrigued with the other person) that "Quiet Hero"'d make that particular mistake...

[Quiet Hero : Well...Let's just say I...hate someone. But today I...]

[Kanra-chan : Today you what...?]

[Quiet Hero : ... No, nothing. It's probably boring you. So, how was YOUR day?]

Izaya bit his lips not too softly. He didn't know what to _really_ answer. After a few seconds, he guessed it couldn't hurt to tell the truth for once, seeing how he was chatting with a stranger, anyways...He sighed loudly, passed a hand through his dark hair, and chuckled at his own carelessness as he typed in an appropriate answer. He was so overwhelmed by everything that had happened to him recently, taking his own broken feelings in account as well, that he didn't think the consequences of it through enough. Unlike usually...

[Kanra-chan : Well, there's _this_ guy, you know... I kind of.. He's great, but he doesn't know it. I do. And we're usually playing cat and mouse, it's fun. But it's an extreme cat and mouse... And today, it looks like...]

[Quiet Hero : It looks like WHAT?]

Izaya raised an eyebrow, realizing he was getting annoyed by the other's roughness, but it also reminded me of someone... He groaned as he felt a physical pain in his chest at this thought. No, it simply couldn't be. Was Shizuo clever enough to use the Internet? Izaya knew that, despite everything he called him, he indeed was... But, he shook away that thought, and concentrated on writing his reply.

[Kanra-chan : Well, it looks like today he made his worst mistake. Hehe, isn't that weird? I thought he'd...do it without mercy. Guess I was wrong, but I still wonder why he did it...]

[Quiet Hero : Did WHAT? TELL ME!]

[Kanra-chan : ...I'm not sure if I should tell you. This is quite a secret. What? Are you interested? Haha! And why are you so...urging? Almost as if you were violent...]

[Quiet Hero : Have you seen my username? Take a look at it. I can't be that violent, right?...Right. Anyways, yes, I am interested. It's because...I think I know what happened.]

[Kanra-chan : Oh! You do? O_O And what was it, then? Prove it, genius...! Haha.]

[Quiet Hero : He let you live, right?]

[Kanra-chan : ...O_O! No! That can't be!]

[Quiet Hero : Hi Izaya dead fish'eyes. Bye, you fucking flea! That mistake won't happen again! TRUST ME!]

[Quiet Hero logged off.]

[Kanra-chan : ...]

[Kanra-chan obviously logged off not long after this.]


End file.
